Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
by MandaPanda2
Summary: As clearly as she knows her own name, she knows she's going to break her daughter's heart. (Part IV of the "Master Plan" series)


Disclaimer: All characters (unless otherwise specified) belong to Aaron Spelling, E. Duke Vincent, Gary Tomlin, NBC, et al and are used here strictly for non-profit entertainment purposes.  
Rating: PG  
Genre: Drama  
Spoilers: Everything through the 150's and Gregory's "master plan"  
Summary: As clearly as she knows her own name, she knows she's going to break her daughter's heart. (Part IV of the "Master Plan" series)

_A/N: This is the last story in the series. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing! (Also, this story takes place a few hours after the events of "An Enigma".)_

* * *

Olivia was awake, but she didn't want to be.

The bed was warm, the sheets and down comforter tucked tight around her. She wondered, if she continued to be still long enough, could she will herself back to sleep? When she was asleep, she didn't have to think. She didn't have to lie. She didn't have to pretend. She didn't have to argue with her husband.

It took real effort, but she finally opened her eyes as she thought of Gregory. He _was_ concerned earlier when he saw how sick she was. _Should I be worried?_ She sighed deeply as she gazed up at the ceiling. He did _so_ want to try with her, which was a sharp contrast to the way things were between them just a few short months ago. But, it would have been too easy to let him stay with her, to curl up in his arms as her body was ravaged by the nausea. He believed her lie. He thought it was the flu. He didn't know it was their child. Well, _maybe_ their child.

She inhaled sharply and she closed her eyes as her vision blurred. It was _her_ child and that was all that mattered. Wasn't it? She never stopped wanting more children. Five was always the number she envisioned. A child for each finger. When she first told Gregory, he looked surprised for all of two seconds before he promised her he wanted a big family too. Isn't that what only children want when they grow older – siblings for their own children? Fate just had other plans for her hope to have her five children.

Gently, she laid her hand on her stomach. Only a thin nightgown between her palm and the barely-there bump. _Mom, you're starting to show._ It wouldn't be long before her child made its presence known to everyone. Her throat ached as she wondered about Gregory's reaction to her pregnancy. Her _real_ one. Would he be stunned and jubilant? Or, would he be stunned and calculating as he re-evaluated his plan? She opened her eyes again and hot tears spilled out.

It scared her to admit she didn't know.

Gregory was captivated by madness and his desire to free their daughter from Cole. She couldn't reach him when he was like this. She couldn't get him to see reason. She wiped her face dry, her wet fingers staining the silk as she clutched her swollen stomach beneath the sheets. What kind of family was she bringing this child into? They had been so fractured for so long and they were still healing from years of dysfunction. The gaps were there, poisonous weeds growing between all four of them.

Poison kills. Her family was dying. Her chest shuddered as she gasped, feeling sick. There would be no way to recover from this. From her husband's plan. He thought it would fix everything, but it would destroy them. And, that terrified her.

A stronger wife would stand up to Gregory. Tell him how sick his plan was, how unhappy it made her to carry out that lie. But, she knew her own shortcomings. She didn't stand a chance against her husband's mania. Instead, her weakness caused her to choose her husband over her child. Her own mother _never_ would have done that. Her own father wouldn't have thought _any_ of this necessary. They understood that children needed to find their own way. Make their own choices. Make their own mistakes. Live their own lives.

The bedroom door creaked as it opened and she looked over. Caitlin peered around the edge, caution giving way to a smile. "Oh, you're awake," she said as she stepped into the room. Olivia nodded, watching as her daughter quietly closed the door and neared the bed. "How do you feel?"

A lie would be easy. They always were. That was the sparkling attraction to them. But, after all the lies she's already fed her daughter, didn't she deserve the truth? Can't she give her that at least? "Awful," she admitted, seeing the concern brimming in her daughter's eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she turned back the covers and climbed into the bed. A moment later, she snuggled against her mother, resting her head on her shoulder.

Olivia turned her face, pressing a kiss to the top of her daughter's head. "It's alright, darling," she murmured, letting her face linger in her golden hair. "It goes away. Eventually." She slipped her arm around her daughter's back, holding her close. When was the last time Caitlin crawled into her bed? When was the last time Caitlin felt close enough to her to even _want_ to?

"How can I help?"

She smiled weakly, reaching for her daughter's hand. "_This_ helps."

Caitlin chuckled softly to herself. As her fingers combed through her daughter's hair, she heard her ask, "Did you have a nickname for me?"

She looked down. "What?"

There was a long silence before she replied, "When you were pregnant with me. Before you knew I was a girl or what my name would be." A moment later, she giggled bashfully and Olivia tensed, knowing what was coming next. "I call the baby Button. I talk to her all the time."

_Button_. Caitlin talked to her daughter all the time.

Olivia broke out in a cold sweat, her stomach muscles clenched tight as she looked away. She's nauseous, but she can't blame this instance on the child in her. As clearly as she knows her own name, she knows she's going to break her daughter's heart. She and Gregory both.

"So...did you?" She flinched, hearing her daughter's tentative question. "Mom?"

She slowly turned back to her daughter. Caitlin's earnest curiosity was a knife to her heart. She sighed, choking back bile as she nodded. Her daughter's eyes lit up as she admitted, "I called you Precious." A sob rose in her throat and she inhaled sharply as she continued, "Because I knew you were. You were my precious baby."

"Oh, Mom," Caitlin sighed, hugging her gently, "don't cry."

But, she couldn't. It was too hard to pretend, so she stopped. Caitlin hugged her tight as she sobbed, gasping for a breath. She couldn't stop Gregory. She couldn't save Caitlin. She couldn't save herself. They were doomed.

It was just like all those years ago. She stole Cole to capture her husband's heart. Now, she's stealing Cole's child to make her husband happy.

She would never be free of the darkness that consumed her.

Consumed her life.

Consumed her soul.

THE END.

* * *

_A/N #2: The title was inspired by Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sound of Silence"._


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